Holding Hands
by misori
Summary: [one shot KaiJou, CRACK, suggestive stuff, etc.] Kaiba loves Jounouchi, but he doesn't like holding hands.


Disclaimer: I do not in any way own Yuugiou (Yu-Gi-Oh!). This is a fanmade creation for entertainment purposes only. No money is being made from this.

Rated PG-13 to be safe (and for suggestive… stuff and language and CRACK).

Important NOTE: Please keep in mind that this is a ONE-SHOT. This means there will NOT be a second chapter. Also, I will NOT be writing a sequel to this or anything so _please_ do not ask for such.

_Please keep in mind that Misori Chan does not believe in such a thing as OOC-ness, because how a character is portrayed is up to how the writer interprets his/her character to be. Well, most of the time._

Otherwise, enjoy! I am back!! Didn't think I'd give up on (and fanfiction in general) did you:)

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Holding Hands by Misori Chan

Jounouchi Katsuya liked holding hands. Kaiba Seto did not. Kaiba had figured that Jounouchi would be an affectionate one—not that he himself wasn't affectionate. His affection was just of a different kind… the more _physical_ kind. In any case, Jounouchi liked holding hands and Kaiba didn't. He couldn't blame the blond, though. Jounouchi was, after all, an important friend to Mutou Yuugi, who was a very… _affectionate_ person, if one were to describe him. Naturally, it rubbed off on Jounouchi. So, if he were to blame anyone Kaiba would have to blame it all on that little Yuugi's fault. He knew that anyone with that kind of hairstyle couldn't be trusted. He just didn't understand why his puppy didn't agree.

It was also Jounouchi's other friends' fault too because in his eyes, they were all to blame. Those affection freaks. And since Jounouchi was a friend of Yuugi and co., he tended to do the same thing he did with them with him—not that it made much sense anyway. The point was they did nothing, which was a good thing—sort of. His puppy having an orgy with Yuugi and co. wasn't exactly his cup of tea or coffee for that matter—most likely the latter more than tea. However, this meant that Jounouchi also didn't want an orgy with him—not that you could have an orgy with just two people, but that wasn't the big conflict–_climax_–dilemma thing he was having right then. He also didn't want to be a virgin for the rest of his life and he was sure Jounouchi felt the same way, holding hands or not.

More importantly, Kaiba was not a friend to Jounouchi. He was a… well, you know. A—he hated to say it—_special person_ to the blond. A _really_, _really_, _really_ special person. That said, being a _special person_ meant he was entitled to certain things, right? Things that Yuugi and co. would never have the privilege of receiving. Yes, _those_ things. No, not that holding hand crap the blond seemed so fond of. To put it simply, he wanted to be f—ked. Get laid. Screw Jounouchi to the point of oblivion… and back. The blond's sexy ass was so _his_. Preferably soon. _Now_.

"Seto!"

_Speak of the devil_, Kaiba thought. _Took him __damn__ long!_

A couple of the students were looking at him funny. What? They had never heard someone call him 'Seto' before or something? Mokuba called him that all the time. His classmates were obviously too f—

"Seto?"

—ing stupid to realize that then. Of course he was frustrated! He had been in the stupid classroom during the entire lunch time, surrounded by a bunch of loud mouth idiots who wouldn't shut up to eat like they should have while he was _supposed_ to be working on his latest Duel Monsters device, which caused him to end up staring at a blank screen the entire time, contemplating about _holding hands_ of all things. And sex too, but he was just like any other adolescent with hormones, despite his 'cold exterior' so that didn't count. Besides, his boyfriend had such a nice ass. A _really_ nice ass. How could he possibly concentrate on something like Duel Monsters? He'd rather stare at Jounouchi's crot—

"Hello? Earth to Kaiba! Pay attention to me!"

Jounouchi was very, very close. Too close. His crotch was also too close to Kaiba's line of vision. Damn whoever came up with linear perspective. And pants. Tired of his own thoughts, he decided to finally reply. "_What_!?" Or snarled, actually.

Jounouchi appeared taken back for a while but quickly snapped out of it and very smartly said, "Geez. Someone sure is grumpy today. What happened?" It was rare that the blond was so calm. So rare that Kaiba's mind froze for a millisecond. Then he thought about Jounouchi under him, complying to his every whim. _Yes_. _Oh hell yes_—_**NO**_!

"_Nothing_." There was an odd strain to his voice but Jounouchi chose to ignore it. Kaiba had always been weird. His Blue Eyes obsession was plenty of proof. Heck, you could even call it a fetish in his opinion. Right on time, the awkward silence kicked in, settling nicely over the two males. It was also trying to threaten them with suffocation. Trying. Kaiba was doing a rather fine job glaring it into submission. How dare it interrupt his awkward moment, the stupid awkward silence.

At long last, perhaps a few seconds or so, Jounouchi decided that enough was enough. It was getting to the point where he wasn't sure whether Kaiba was glaring the awkward silence into submission or _him_. It was about time he broke the silence. So he did, with a nearby textbook. You could hear the cries of a poor student as his textbook crashed into a window and flew outside towards its freedom. Kaiba stared. Where was not the problem.

"Um…" Jounouchi began. "You free?"

Pause. A sigh. Several students coughed. Every eye in the room was on them, even the one that often appeared on Yami's forehead when he was about to f—

"A-choo!" —someone up.

Kaiba sighed. "Why?" he asked.

"Oh, no reason. Just… do you want to go somewhere else? Away from here?" Jounouchi was getting tired of all the stares. What? Hadn't they ever seen Kaiba have someone talk to him like a normal homo sapien? Of course, Kaiba was on a totally different mindset at the mention of 'somewhere else'. This was quite apparent in his quick, almost hasty agreement to the blond's suggestion. "_Yes_." His voice was also kind of husky. Jounouchi thought he had a throat problem of some sort, but decided against mentioning it. Kaiba Seto never got sick.

"OK," Jounouchi said. "Let's go now, Seto." And he grabbed the CEO's hand. Kaiba froze, his eyes wide in a comical way and focused on the now linked hands of the two of them. What in the world was his puppy doing? He did not like holding hands. That much was obvious during the first sentence of his thoughts. Well, the second one but that wasn't the point. Suddenly, Jounouchi grabbed Kaiba's other hand.

_Not my other hand too_! he screamed mentally. _I knew I shouldn't have mentioned 'second'!_ Moreover, he'd rather have his hands holding something else, something much lower that wasn't Jounouchi's gorgeous ass, his p—

"YUUGI!" Apparently Yuugi had fainted. Why? Kaiba didn't care. His beloved was right in front of him, who was smiling in an awfully mischievous way and was leaning in closer, raising his head a little until his face was barely a centimeter away from his own. He could feel the hot breath of the blond on his face and inwardly moaned. Slowly, tortuously slowly, Jounouchi lips moved closer to meet his in a kiss.

Kaiba changed his mind about holding hands. It wasn't so bad after all. The sex could wait until later. But he tongued Jounouchi for good measure. Holding hands wasn't that bad at all.

-FIN-

Well, that's something different. I don't usually write like this or even 'humor', but it's interesting, isn't it? WELL, if it wasn't funny enough to earn a giggle, sorry. I've never seriously tried to write humor before. This was a first for me. :P

Anywho, this fic marks my return to fanfiction. :) Hi guys. Long time no see. I hope you enjoyed this one.


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